Healing Through A Break-Up When You’re Over 30

Healing Through A Break-Up When You’re Over 30

Photo: RDNE Stock Project Pexels.com

---

If he no longer want you…let him go. 

Such a statement that has been said and heard for decades. But how easy is it? 

How often does that work?

I believe it is a human reaction to try and stop what you know will hurt you. 

When you are in love with someone who has decided to leave the automatic feeling that kicks in is wanting to know why. 

Then maybe trying to figure out how a change can happen or if that person even agrees to be patient for that change.

Don’t force that process but if you know, you know. It helps with the healing. Going through those emotional terrors is wear and tear on the person. 

That heartache or heartbreak forces you to plan never to return or at least experience difficulty of healing through that break up. 

They move forward with what seems to be no effort or scathing.

The audacity for someone to tell you that their decision hurts them more than it hurts you.

Do they know or do they even care? We have to see it no longer being something we repeat in our minds. 

These times can make you begin to second-guess yourself.

Unless you know that you were not the best partner and this is the end result, trust that you can’t control someone else’s feelings or actions.

We have to come to a point there will be things that happen in relationships. We are responsible for taking it in stride for our own mental, emotional, and physical health.

I thought it should be more difficult for them to walk away. However, I learned not having expectations of what they should feel will help my healing.

When we understand this, times like these can be taken in stride. Sometimes the absence of others is necessary for your progress.

One of the toughest breakups I had, tore me within. Another was chosen over me or maybe despite me.

Immediately, I had to pull it together, carrying a son within and a 9-year-old daughter in tow. 

Not even the marriage license in the chest, the degrees on the shelf, and the love in my heart could stop the turmoil I had just faced.

Grace to heal and move on.

So, gracefully I made sure my children saw me work diligently and continue to love them from my core.

They would have no idea the strength it took…that took grace.

They will never know the explicit plans that were made. 

They will never know the prayers that were offered up and the tears cried each night as I prepared for a life on our own….that took the grace I was given.

Grace helped me remember that I was important. We deserved more and I could raise my children to know the same. Grace allowed me to say this to myself daily. 

Lessening the feeling that I had lost.

Healing from a breakup can be a challenging journey, especially for middle-aged women who may have invested significant time and emotion into the relationship. 

The first step towards healing is allowing yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with a breakup. It’s essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings of sadness, anger, and loss. 

Bottling up emotions can prolong the healing process, so permit yourself to grieve the end of the relationship.

Once you’ve pinpointed your emotions, it’s important to prioritize self-care. 

Take time to focus on your physical and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. 

Whether it’s exercising, spending time with loved ones, or practicing mindfulness and meditation, finding ways to nurture yourself can help ease the pain of the breakup. 

Understanding that you have to start believing that you can get through it and begin to live your life magnified.

Additionally, maintaining a healthy lifestyle through proper nutrition and sleep can provide a strong foundation for healing.

As you navigate life post-breakup, it’s crucial to avoid isolating yourself. 

Reach out to friends and family for support, and consider joining support groups or seeking therapy to process your feelings in a safe and supportive environment. 

Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can offer validation and perspective. It reminds you that you’re not alone in your journey toward healing.

Finally, embrace this period of transition as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. 

Use the newfound freedom to explore new interests, set goals, and rediscover your identity outside of the relationship. 

While healing from a breakup is undoubtedly challenging, it can also be a transformative. 

Its experience that ultimately leads to greater self-awareness, resilience, and empowerment. 

Trust that with time and self-compassion, you will emerge from this difficult chapter stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Being diligent in creating the life I wanted for my children, and then myself…helped me heal.

Being able to lean on my family and community…helped me heal.
Setting the tone on how I and my children would be treated by him and his new her…helped me heal.

Yes, even turning a cheek or four over the last 12 years to unwanted drama…helped me heal. However, there are a few ways that we all can begin to understand the upheaval of breakups. 

Especially those of us who are more experienced and over the age of 30.

Here are 4 Ways To Help You Heal

Allow Yourself to Grieve: 

Grief may look different from person to person. 

It’s natural to feel a range of emotions after a breakup, including sadness, 
anger, and confusion. Allow yourself to experience these feelings fully 
without judgment. 

Cry if you need to, talk to trusted friends or family members, and give yourself time to process the loss. 

Remember that healing is not a linear process, and it’s okay to have good days and bad days.

Focus on Self-Care: 

Take this time to prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. 

Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This could include exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. 

Make sure you’re eating healthily, getting enough sleep, and avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive drinking or overeating. 

Investing in self-care can help boost your mood and resilience during this challenging time.

Seek Support: 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to your support village and community for help and encouragement. Surround yourself with friends and family members who care about you and can offer a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on. 

Consider joining a support group or seeking therapy to gain additional perspective and guidance from trained professionals. 

Just talking to friends and even family may not be the end all be all that helps you getting through and over your grief. 

Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you process your emotions and move forward healthily.

Focus on Personal Growth: 

Use this period of transition as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. 

Take stock of your strengths, values, and goals, and consider how you can align your life with what truly matters to you. 

Set small, achievable goals for yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. 

Rediscover activities or interests that bring you fulfillment and joy, and take steps towards building the life you want for yourself. 

Remember that while the end of a relationship can be painful, it also presents an opportunity for new beginnings and self-discovery.

Conclusion

I have not forgotten about the healing my children need…I never will.
We’ve talked in detail about their thoughts and feelings relating to all that transpires.

 It will always be an open discussion and opportunity to speak their mind and ask those hard questions to all involved.

At our fingertips will be therapy to continue the building process where we have been torn down.

Until it is exhausted.

Each day, a new day…grace and healing continue.

Hopefully, I am writing posts that inspire you. If you want to continue supporting my efforts, feel free to buy me a coffee!